Many guys are struggling with relapses and they often seem to get stuck in a nasty relapse cycle of hell.
If they keep pushing though, will NoFap ever get easier?
Yes, NoFap does get a bit easier, but the truth is that it will most likely always be pretty hard, so be prepared for that. What makes the biggest difference, though, is that YOU will become stronger and, with time, you'll learn to master the art of controlling yourself and your urges. Let's take a closer look at this…
Does NoFap Ever Get Easier?
There is a famous saying that goes like this…
“Ask not for lighter burdens, but for stronger shoulders”
This is a line you need to understand and fully embrace if you ever want to master the art of going for a really long NoFap streak. It simply means that you should not wish for things to get easier, but instead wish you were better.
As long as you are human, you will most likely always have sexual urges, and that's ok. In fact, it is the way it should be. Now, learning how to master the art of transmuting those sexual urges into working on your goals and improving your life is a a skill, and just like any other skill, if you keep practicing, you will get better.
If you have a porn addiction you can expect quitting to be even harder…
But here NoFap will get easier -after some time
If you have developed a real addiction (with addiction related brain changes) to online porn, things will be a bit different though.
In this case you first have to master the dopamine cravings your brain is screaming for during withdrawals, and then after that you also have to master the art of transmuting your “normal” sexual cravings that will remain, even after you overcome your addiction.
Once you overcome your porn addiction, NoFap will get so much easier for you. I would estimate that getting over your porn addiction will add up to about 80% of your effort, while not relapsing to “normal” sexual urges, once your porn addiction is out of the way, will “only” need about 20% of your effort.
So if you really are addicted to porn, we could turn it around and make it more positive by saying; the good news is that NoFap will get about 80% easier for you if you keep going.
What if I am addicted,
How long until it starts to get easier then?
This is a difficult question to answer…
Well, because everyone is different and have a unique brain as well as unique circumstances, however, take a look at the video below where I share the “average” time it takes for guys who have developed addiction related brain changes to overcome their addictions.
Take a look at this video I made a while back to discover the “average” amount of time needed.
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Optimize Your Chances!
Ok, so is there anything you can do to make your journey easier then?
Yes there is.
There are actually a few things you should know in order to make NoFap easier for you.
Let's take a closer look at a few helpful NoFap tips…
How To Make NoFap Easier
Tip #1 Write Down Your “Why” and Your “Why not”
Get yourself a NoFap notebook.
Any notebook will do as long as it's a real notebook…
…in other words, do not use your computer or your phone.
Where will you bee 3 years from now if you stop fapping?
On the top of your first page, you write down the words “My Why”.
Then you proceed to write down exactly WHY you want to do NoFap in the first place and where you could be 3 years from now, if you get all the NoFap benefits you would like.
Here are some common reasons why guys do NoFap…
- The become more confident
- To be stronger in the gym
- To gain more self respect
- To become a better lover
- To be more attracted to real life people
- To make women more attracted to them
- To get harder erections
…and so on.
The reasons are many, but what are YOUR reasons?
It's important that you write down exactly why you want to do NoFap and DO NOT underestimate this tip because it works on your subconscious mind.
The “What's the point” dilemma…
You see, 99% of all the guys on NoFap will at some point run into a “what's the point” state of mind. In fact, this is very common and for most guys it happens several times a week. It's not so much you questioning yourself, but it's more a part of your brain that just don't see any reason for continuing NoFap…
…when this happens, you will probably relapse.
However, if you have your “WHY” clearly written down, your subconscious mind will be much more likely to keep you on track by instantly reminding you why you need to push on.
Not only do I recommend you writing down your “why”, but I also recommend that you read your “why” on a daily basis. This is precisely because you want to program your subconscious mind.
Your subconscious mind is more powerful than you think. It acts as an autopilot, making you do actions that are in line with your goals. This is why you want to have it on your side as an ally while you fight your NoFap war, and this is also why you need to program it by writing in your notebook.
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Also Write down your “Hell”. Where will you be 3 years from now if you DON'T stop fapping?
On the second page you should write down “My Hell”, or your “why not”…
…in other words, you write down all the reasons for why you should not keep on fapping. Write down where you will be 3 years from now if you keep fapping your brains out to online porn.
- What will it do to your self-esteem?
- Will it give you erectile dysfunction?
- Will it completely destroy the reward center in your brain, making you unable to feel any pleasure in life? (yes, today's online porn is powerful enough to cause all those things to happen)
By writing down both your “Why” and your “Hell” you make sure to use both the carrot and the stick. This is the most effective way to get your brain on your side since we people are mainly driven by two things in life…
- The need to avoid pain
- The desire to seek pleasure/happiness
Tip #2 Never Just “Drift” When On Your Computer
When you sit down at your laptop, you should know what your outcome is.
Are you going to look for some info or perhaps use YouTube as entertainment? Perhaps you are going to play some games or maybe write a blog post?
All those things are okay, of course, but you need to know in advance what you are going to do and then YOU DO PRECISELY THAT AND NOTHING ELSE!
If you have problems with frequent relapses, the last thing you want to be doing is to just aimlessly surf the internet. Keep drifting like that without a goal while being exposed to all kinds of triggers and the relapse is not far away. Then if you add tiredness and loneliness to that, your relapse is pretty much guaranteed!
So again, by all means, use your computer for recreation if you want to. But decide in advance WHAT to search for on YouTube, Netflix and so on. You do NOT want to just follow suggested things that are thrown at you…
…because that is how most relapses start.
Related post: 11 Things to do when you're bored on NoFap
Tip #3 Go Operation Blackout
One of the healthiest things you can do for your brain is to shut down all digital input a couple of hours before bedtime. In addition to this, it will save you from many a relapses.
I call this “operation blackout”
Think about it; when we are tired the relapse risk is always higher, and when are we most likely to be tired? Well, the hours leading up to bedtime, of course.
Operation blackout is a great thing to do. Heck, this is something I personally do to this day even though I been completely free from relapses for more than I year by now.
- The winding down improves the quality of my sleep
- I get to practice mindfulness the last hours of my day. This reduces anxiety, depression and thus improves the quality of my life
- I get to sit with myself, with no distractions, learning to master the art of filling the existential vacuum that we humans are so unfairly doomed to be stuck with.
I realize the last point there sounded pretty deep…
…and it is!
However, it is the single most valuable skill you can learn in today's world and I'm not even kidding. If you always feel the need to “escape” into some activity, unable to just sit with yourself, YOU are not in control. And when you are not in control…
….you are not a happy person.
Other interesting posts…
- No PMO for a year – What will happen?
- How long does it take for NoFap to cure ED?
- Does fapping make you socially awkward?
- No PMO for a week – 7 days is your first milestone
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Does NoFap Get Easier With Time?
To sum everything up, yes, NoFap does get a bit easier with time, but probably never to the point of like a walk in the park.
However, the more you practice it, the stronger YOU will become and thus the “net effect” will be the same as if it was easier. After all, a strong man lifts a heavier weight with more ease than a weaker man, and so remember…
…”Don't ask for lighter burdens, but for stronger shoulders”
Thanks for reading.
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