What Should You Not Do On NoFap?
Things To Avoid
What should you avoid during NoFap?
It's a good question.
Let's first state the fact that it depends on your goal with NoFap.
However, in this article I am going to give advice to those who are doing NoFap for the following reasons…
- To reboot their sexuality (from pixels towards real life people)
- To overcome their porn addiction
So, grab yourself a cup of tea and stay for a while, because if you want to have a successful reboot, this is something you need to know.
Quit Porn And Avoid Porn Substitutes
If you're trying to reboot and overcome your porn addiction, then obviously porn needs to go. Kind of make sense, right?
But what's perhaps not as straight forward are avoiding all the so called “porn substitutes” you can find online nowadays.
It's about what YOUR brain finds sexually arousing…
Before I start listing all the different porn substitutes, there is one important thing for you to consider.
When reading 11 points below, you might be thinking: “Just how strict should I be with avoiding this particular thing?”
Well, what really matters is if YOUR brain finds it sexually arousing or not. Just as an example, if one person has an incredible powerful feet fetish, then logging in a session where the person is looking at 700 different feet in 2 hours can even be more arousing for him, than what looking at big boobs can be for another.
The rule is: rebooting is staying away from anything that you find to be sexually arousing (if it goes under the category ‘artificial')
People react differently to different sexual things. And what mainstream society means when they use the word porn, isn't necessarily what you reacts the strongest to. That said, a majority of guys do still prefer to look at what mainstream calls porn. Only you will be able to tell.
The key thing lies in, if YOU find it arousing and HOW you are using it. Whatever “it” is.
And when it comes to overcoming your porn addiction, if the porn substitute really is something that arouses you, you shouldn't be using it.
So, let's jump in and take a closer look at a few things that could be called “porn substitutes” so you'll get a better understanding of what we are talking about.
#1 What about cam sites?…
It should come as no surprise that this one has to go.
The only exception would be if you're not getting turned on by them and you're truly just visiting them for some other reason than for sexual excitement. But let's face it, 99,99% are there for the excitement.
What would that other thing even be, you say?
Well, like for example, if you're genuinely interested in how the software behind it works, because you're an online entrepreneur just about to start some similar platforms yourself. But hey, that's kind of stretching it here, really. 99,99% are not there for reasons like that.
#2 What about porn fantasy?…
This is a good question because, at first glance, it's not totally obvious.
Since rebooting is about unhooking from pixels and artificial ways of arousing yourself, then in what category would your own imagination fall?
Here's the deal…
Fantasizing about porn scenes is something you should avoid. This is because it can fire up the same old porn pathways in your brain that we are trying to get rid of by rebooting.
#3 What about sexual fantasies about a real life person?…
This one is okay.
In fact, it might even hep speed up the rewiring part of your recovery.
You see, a good PMO reboot consists of two parts…
- A sexual break to help you recover your numb pleasure response.
- Rewiring your sexual conditioning (away from pixels on a scree towards real life people).
Fantasizing about real life people, in the correct way, may help with the latter.
If you do fantasize, then just avoid making yourself a voyeur. I.e. don't make the fantasy a porn scen where you are the observer. It should be you engaging in the love making.
Also, try to incorporate all your senses into the fantasy as well. Touching, kissing, smelling, feelings of soft skin, warm hugs etc.
#4 What about erotic novels?…
This one falls under the category “fantasizing”, but it's not really fantasizing about a real life person, now is it?
More important, there is a scene there created by the author. So it's more like porn fantasy than real life fantasy.
Just say no.
#5 What about erotic videos of my girlfriend?…
It's nowhere near as bad as binging on porn sites, but it's still not something you should be watching.
Well, it's pretty simple really: you are observing and it's still pixels on a screen. Those two combined will fire up the porn pathways.
Remember, real sex is about engaging and having all the senses incorporated. Porn is pixels on a screen and you merely being an observer. Videos of your GF definitely belong to the latter.
#6 But what about if the video is of us having sex and I'm included?…
After having been involved in the rebooting community for 10 years by now, I'm getting pretty good at prediction your questions, wouldn't you say?
Some of you are for sur wondering, “But what if we make our own porn video? Then I'm included, and I'm not an observer”
Yes, but you're an observer afterwards, while you're watching it. And then it's also pixels on a screen, right?
So, this one is also a no go.
It's about avoid arousing pixels on a screen, remember? Just because you know the people who are forming the pixels on your screen won't make much of a difference. I mean, if you happen to know the girl serving you food at McDonalds, well, that doesn't suddenly make the food any less unhealthy either.
#7 What about just a few erotic pictures of my girlfriend sent on WhatsApp?…
Well, it's not like a few still images will desensitize our reward system, but it's still pixels on a screen.
Just try to stay away from things like that since engaging in those kinds of behaviors will definitely make it harder for you to overcome your porn addiction in the long run.
We need to let the pixel pathways in the brain weaken, and you are most certainly slowing down that process if you frequently engage in things like this.
Why not look at your GF, naked, in real life instead?
#8 What about ASMR videos or sound clips?…
Ask yourself, why are you listening to them?
And be 100% honest!
Do they arouse you sexually? If so, it's a no go (goes under the category artificial sexual arousing stuff).
Or, are you listening for any other reason, like for relaxation only?
If so, then no problem.
Again, it comes back to your brain and what YOU find sexually arousing.
#9 What about watching a normal movie that has sex scenes in it?…
If you are intentionally watching it with the sole purpose of getting aroused by those sex scenes then, no, don't do it.
If you're merely watching a movie which happen to have a couple of sex scenes in it, and you just happen to see it, then no big deal. Don't sweat it.
Intentionally vs. unintentionally plays a big part here.
#10 What about audio books that have erotic parts in it?…
Same as above. If you intentionally seek it out, it's a problem. If you just happen to hear it -unintentionally- no big deal.
But don't start fooling yourself here…
Don't start thinking: “Ok, so I'll download this book / movie because it likely has som juice sex scenes in it, and then I'll just unintentionally consume those. Sorry, but no, that's actually you doing it intentionally.
#11 What about forums, apps or things like that, where there sometimes can be explicit images or videos?…
It's digital arousing stuff, right?
Where's the confusion?
If you frequently go to places where you know stuff like that are likely to pop up, it's a problem. Especially if you do it with the sole purpose of enjoying those things. Then it's definitely a porn substitute and something that will hold you back in your porn addiction recovery.
Just don't go there.
#12 What about Tinder or other dating apps?…
It's a grey zone.
If you're mostly using them to swipe hundreds of hotties a day, and you're drawing lust from it, then it's a bad move.
If you're truly just looking for a nice date, then it should be fine.
But dating apps do definitely increase the relapse risk for many guys, so be wary of that.
A word of warning related to dating sites, Facebook and social media platforms: avoid “mimicing” your porn use!
It's a good idea to avoid or reduce the amount of things you do that mimics your old porn behavior. E.g. clicking from picture to picture or video to video, chasing the next best thing. Only staying a few seconds on one clip before looking for something else to give you that dopamine hit (even if ‘s just a matter of fitness models with clothes on…don't mimic).
#13 What about dating, kissing and having sex with real life people?…
Yes, yes, yes!
This is what we are ment to be doing. We are made to connect, interact and enjoy each others company, without a screen coming between us.
Dating and spending time with real life people will help you recover faster, just as long as you're doing it in a natural, normal, consensual way, without rushing, forcing or doing anything stupid. But, I shouldn't even need to tell you things like that, right?
So, by all means, you go ahead and date as much as you want during your reboot.
That said, if you are struggling with porn induced ED, then there are a few things that could be good to know about dating. For more info on this, take a look at the following articles…
What Should You Not Do on NoFap
There are almost ways different internet platforms can provide arousal out there, so of course there are plenty of things that I didn't include on this page. But I think you've got a good understanding by now…
…if it isn't real, just say no!
Stay away from porn and all porn substitutes that you find sexually arousing.
I think it's probably pretty safe to say, if you have to ask, then the answer is probably going to be “No. Stay away!”
Thanks for reading!
P.S. if you have any questions or if you need help with your reboot, feel free to reach out to me through my contact page right here.
Other things you may be interested in…
- My YouTuhe channel about NoFap and self improvement
- My FREE quitting porn guide
- A good online course for overcoming porn addiction