NoFap – How To Stop Thinking Sexual And Erotic Thoughts?

NoFap – How To Stop Thinking Sexual And Erotic Thoughts?

As a recovering porn addict, now coaching guys from all over the world with their compulsions, I frequently get asked the following question….

….“how do i stop thinking sexual thoughts on NoFap”

The answer is both astoundingly simple, yet deep and complicated at the same time.

Are you ready for it?

Here it comes…

Question: how do I stop thinking erotic thoughts on semen retention / NoFap?

Answer: You have to stop trying to stop thinking sexual thought. 

Sounds kind of strange. So, what exactly does that mean, then?

Well, let me explain…

You can't stop thinking and you can't resist thoughts…

There is this interesting thing in the psychology literature called “the ironic rebound effect”. This is a psychological phenomenon that simply means that whenever you try to push away a thought it always returns, and not only that…

…when it returns, the thought is actually going to be stronger than before you pushed it away.

This means that if you try to NOT think erotic thoughts on your NoFap journey, you will actually just end up with even more powerful and more persistent sexual thought.

What you resist, persists…

Perhaps you have heard the age old saying, “what you resist, persists”.

Well, that's exactly it. If you try to resist a sexual though it will not go away.

Sure you might be able to temporarily resist it, but as the ironic rebound effect dictates, it will return after a while, and you'll never get rid of it. I.e. it will persists.

You have 4 options when you want to deal with sexual thoughts on NoFap…

So, if you can't fight your way out of this situation, what options are you then left with?

Well, you basically have four options.

  1. Try to lower your libido (not recommended at all).
  2. Use methods to distract yourself (a bit better, but not optimal).
  3. Surf your thoughts and cravings (even better still).
  4. Find the source of what's powering your cravings and eliminating it (the absolute best option, but only if you have a porn addiction. If it's just a matter of libido and pure ‘natural horniness', then option 3 is the best one).

Let's take a closer look at them one by one…

Artificially trying to lower your libido (please don't try to do that)…

In order to lower your libido you would have to “hack” your biology and try to, in an artificial way, lower your testosterone and dopamine levels. Or you'd have to take some antidepressants that are notorious for reducing libido as one of its side effects.

You don't want to mess around with lowering neither dopamine nor testosterone as those two are highly involved in things like motivation and drive, as well as in a host of other positive traits.

And you don't want to mess around with antidepressants either, unless you need them for the purpose they've been created. Just leave it be.

Your sex drive is actually what powers the strongest ‘NoFap benefits'.

 

In addition, you have to realize that your sexuality, or rather your sex drive, is the core engine of the so called “NoFap powers”. Now, I know, that words like “NoFap powers” sounds naive, and sure they are, but I think you understand what I mean.

You have probably ready about guys reporting a significant increase in things like…

  • Confidence
  • Motivation and drive
  • Energy
  • Focus and attention
  • Ability to set and achieve goals

…when riding on a good NoFap streak?

Well, the above mentioned things would not be happening if you were to artificially kill your sex drive just so you would be able to go 90 days of no ‘release'…

…so what you really would be doing is shooting yourself in the foot.

Don't mess around with trying to quit meds if you need them either…

On the other hand, if you're taking some antidepressants in order to treat a depression, do NOT quit doing that -just because they might be lowering your libido- for the fear of potentially missing out on the strongest NoFap benefits either….

…you do not want to mess around with things like that, since depression is a condition that should be taken with the utmost seriousness.

If you're using medications to help you cope with some mental illness, just know that, even though they might be dampening your libido a bit, you most likely still have some libido there. And giving up fapping to adult sites will still be of great benefit to you.

For example, I have personally been on and off certain medications over the years, and getting of porn is one of the best and most pivotal things I've done to improve my life. Mentally, physically as well as from a pure ‘self-improvement' standpoint.

Check out the best porn blocker & accountability software CovenantEyes
(Use promo code STRONGER when signing up to get 30 days FREE…)

Using methods to distract yourself…

Now, this one is something you actually can and should play around with, since it's not something that can be bad for you. The question is merely…

…just how effective is it?

Well, it can, and does, work to a certain extent.

The best distraction activities are things that simultaneously get your mind off sex while also shake you up a bit and change your state.

Some examples of this…

  • Taking a cold shower
  • Going for a walk in the nature
  • Doing high intensity interval training (e.g. sprints, hill sprints).
  • Changing your environment and doing something completely different for an hour or two (e.g. going the movie theater).

…and so on.

As I said, these things can work to a certain extent. But they are not as effective as mastering the art of surfing your thoughts / emotions.

Surfing the sexual thoughts and cravings…

So, what exactly does surfing the urges mean?

Well, in order to get a good understanding of the concept, please watch a video I posted on my YouTube channel, Project Stronger Self, a while back…

If you found the video informative, consider subscribing to my channel clicking here. 

Surfing your thoughts and emotions is an art form that is going to take some effort and practice in order for you to master. But trust me when I say…

…it is so well worth the investment!

You can read about how to surf the urges in more detail in my article, NoFap 10 Steps on how to stop relapsing forever. 

In short bullet point form, though, one can say that surfing basically is…

  • Notice the craving (instantly when it arise) without feeding it or following it.
  • Allow yourself to feel it – do not judge the moment or the craving as “bad”.
  • Sit with your urges and be ok with feeling them.
  • Notice how the urges feel. What physical sensations do you notice?
  • Let those physical sensations wash over your and ride on top of them, just like a surfer surfs on a wave in the sea.

If you start practicing this, what you will find is that they urges just go away after some time. And unlike if you try to push them away, they are not going to be stronger when they return. In fact they most likely be a bit weaker.

Finding the source of what's powering your cravings and eliminating it…

Now, right from the strat here I need to point out that there is a difference between addiction cravings and natural sexual urges to have a ‘release'.

If, however, you have trouble giving up fapping to adult sites, then chances are you have developed at least some form of addiction related brain changes.

And here's the thing…

If you are addicted, it can be a bit tricky to distinguish between natural horniness or if it is just your brain that is craving its dopamine fix.

The solution to stop relapsing can be surprisingly simple…

If you are addicted, then I would like to recommend an online system that is using something called ‘habit construction therapy' (HCT). T

he strength of that system lies in finding the true source behind your urges and then doing something about it.

Filling a need: you see, most porn addicts are tying to fill a need with their porn use. We're not just talking about sexual needs here, but actual core needs in other forms as well.

Replacing it: the online course will help you identify that need and then replace it with a more healthy alternative. Once this is done the guys can expect to see an almost complete reduction of their sexual craving and thoughts. The ones related to their addiction, that is. Again, the course will not get rid of your natural libido, which is good.

If you'd like to learn more about this, there you can actually check out a free webinar where the creator of the course (a licensed therapist) tells you more about the principals behind the HCT method.

How to know if you have developed addiction related brain changes or not…

Some of you may now be wondering if there is a way to tell the difference between addiction related brain changes and just pure horniness.

Well, if you kept trying to quit for a very long time, but you've been unable to do so, that's a clue right there. The very definition of an addiction is ‘continued use despite negative consequences'.

That said, for more meat on the bone, you can check out the article 10 signs your addicted to porn

Thanks for reading,

-Scandinavian Bob-

P.S. If you have questions or want my help, you can reach out to me through my contact page right here.

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