No PMO Stories – NoFap Changed My Life Forever
Alright, I figured since my website is about overcoming porn addiction and about living a porn free life, it’s only fair that I create a specific section with No PMO stories.
These will mostly be No PMO success stories, but also stories of people sharing stuff they figured out during their journey. And then, darker stories as well…
…yes, stories of people who made it, but then lost it all when they started relapsing again.
In other words, check out all the stories you can find as you are sure to run into plenty of interesting and helpful stuff and I’m sure you will also run into some real “ahaa-moments”, when you suddenly notice how something you have been experiencing is connected to something you previously were not aware of.
The first story is actually my own success story…
The first one up is by yours truly, Scandinavian Bob.
Yes, I figured, since this is my website it’s only fair that I get to go first 😉
Haha, well, maybe that’s not the real reason, but we have to start somewhere, and sharing my own story is appropriate so that people reading my blog know where I’m coming from.
I hope you enjoy the story.
There is both a video version where you can hear me talking about it and then a written version under the video. Choose the version that is easiest for you to consume. However, I do add additional stuff in the text version, so if you choose to listen to the video, I would still recommend you also at least scroll through the text.
Alright, so let’s jump in…
A 43 Year Old Guy’s Story
NoFap Changed My Life Forever
Struggled for many years – Finally became free
I was born in 1976, which makes me 43 year old at the time of sharing the video above (and 44 att the time of writing this post).
I have subscribers on my YouTube channel from all age groups, but most of them are between 20-30, which means I’m quite a lot older than my average subscriber.
Still, I hope my story can be inspirational and educational and perhaps also serve as kind of a “warning” to younger people out there….
…a warning on what can happen if we keep fapping our brains out to online adult content.
A great childhood – No abuse
I would consider myself a somewhat normal man and while many of the addiction coaches out there like to say that most addictions -some even say all addictions – are rooted in some kind of childhood trauma, that was not the case for me.
Sure it’s true for some, but I’m certain it does not apply to everyone.
Nope, I actually had a wonderful childhood.
No abuse or anything like that. I grew up long before there was any internet and everything was great back then.
Genetically predisposed to anxiety
Well, perhaps not everything since I did have a bit of anxiety as a kid. But it was not like it was holding me back or made me suffer in any severe way.
During my teenage years, I did like all the other kids did back then, you know, every now and then try to get hold of some adult magazines. But I’m pretty sure my fapping habits back then were nothing out of the ordinary.
Just a young man exploring the wonders of mother nature 🙂
In my early twenties sex was great!
I had a slow start with my dating life and got my first real girlfriend (that I was sexually active with) at the age of 20.
At first everything was great. I had no performance problems and I had a very high and healthy sex drive.
I thought sex was fun and little did I know that, some ten years later, that “fun” would turn into a very different word.
Yes, little did I know what was about to happen.
The porn wasn’t a problem at first – When the internet was slow…
Interned didn’t enter my life until the minds of my twenties and here’s something that might surprise you…
…the internet was so slow back then that it was actually not that easy to find good porn pages. The ones I found had either pictures or downloadable, bad quality, videos. I.e. the delivery system was still not “potent” enough to case serious damage to the dopamine system.
This ment I still, mostly, consumed my porn by watching DVD’s, adult magazines or even by using the old trusty VHS player.
I didn’t use porn in any extreme amounts either, perhaps 2-4 times a week or so. Honestly I don’t really remember, it probably varied a bit, but I know it was not on a daily basis.
I kept on dating – like normal men do…
So far I had been living my life like most normal young men do. I had kept dating and had pretty normal relationships with girlfriends.
My libido was strong and I still didn’t have any sexual problems here.
In fact, it never even entered my mind that there could ever be something like weak erections.
Well, little did I know.
High speed internet destroyed me as a man
Then there was a key moment in my life…
…at the age of 28 I got high speed internet!
I suddenly had access to never ending novelty at the click of a mouse and now internet porn had developed into tube sites, with streaming functions, and endless amounts of high quality videos.
This was bad, but I still had no idea at the time.
My fapping sessions became longer
With so many videos to explore and so much novelty, my fapping sessions also became longer.
(This was clearly the point I started to develop addiction related brain changes. I got stuck in the “just need to watch one more clip” loop. Always looking for the perfect video clip to finish on – which obviously never came!)
At the time I thought it was great. So many options to choose from and so much to see. It was like I had my own little harem, right there, in my living room.
A battle for my libido started.
Real life was losing – and porn was winning!
With all those long porn session I slowly but surely started to lose interest in real life girls.
It was so easy to just keep surfing on those adult sites and dating in real life took effort…
…especially for a guy who had social anxiety tendencies like me.
No dates for many years…
I went to work, came home. Exercised in my gym, practiced my musical instrument, had some other hobbies and I kept indulging in my long porn sessions, exploring all the novelty.
So this went on for a a long time, without me dating or being intimate with a real life woman for several years.
Worsening depression and anxiety…
Now, as I said in the beginning, I have always had a tendency for social anxiety, but during these years when I developed a porn addiction, my social anxiety got a lot worse.
I also started to notice problems with focus and concentration.
My self-esteem plummeted and so too did my general confidence and optimism for life.
I had no idea about the terrible damage…
Sadly, this went on for many years.
Then, somehow, at the age of 36 I started to think that..
“hey man, enough of this shit, I should really start putting myself together now. I should also start trying to get a real girlfriend…this is just pathetic!”
Yes indeed, I decided to start dating again.
I found an interesting girl on a dating site and after having had a few phone conversations we decided to meet up.
I went on a date without knowing what porn had done to me…
Now, mind you, I was still consuming porn here because, well why not? It’s was not like I was aware of what it was doing to me…
…but I was soon about to find out!
I went on a smal vacation with this interesting girl and I kid you not; she was the absolute hottest woman I had dated so far. How on earth did I even mange to get her interested in me? 🙂
…from the very first night we ended up in bed and it was at that very moment it hit me, I knew right then and there that something was seriously wrong with me.
I knew right then and there that something was seriously wrong with me…
Here I was, with the hottest girl I had ever dated so far, and I could barely feel any arousal at all.
In fact, my libido was so weak that I could just barely perform. I did get it up, but not at allt to “my full potential”, so to speak, and everything felt strange and unnatural.
If felt unnatural even though this was actually natural – But to my brain, porn was now what the norm and jerking it to pixels on a screen was “natural”.
We tried again…
We had sex again the following day.
But again I had the same lack of libido and the same weird feeling.
I knew that something was wrong because I was otherwise healthy and in good in pretty goo physical shape. I was only in my thirties, I should be able to feel stronger feeling and get harder erections than this…
…especially considering that I objectively found her extremely attractive.
I just knew something was wrong.
I figured out what was wrong…
As soon as I got home I started searching on google like crazy.
Of course it didn’t take that long until I found the website Your brain on porn.
I read everything on it several times and I understood right then and there that the long porn sessions had completely hijacked my libido.
I was suffering from porn induced ED.
At least a mild version of it and boy had the porn negatively affected my ability to be able to get aroused by real life women…
…it had altered it significantly!
The rabbit hole and a whole new world…
With some additional google searching I found rebooting forums.
And after that I also found NoFap and I made one thing abundantly clear….
…“I would stop watching porn and start rebooting and live a happy No PMO lifestyle for ever after”.
Well, so far so good, but rebooting was hard.
Rebooting was hard 🙁
I relapsed a lot in the beginning.
My streaks looked something like 30 days clean then a relapse, then 46 days clean and a relapse, then maybe 65 days clean and a then a relapse…and a relapse…and a relapse…and a relapse…
…and a relapse (do you get the picture, yet?)
This went on for several years before I finally started to get the hang of it.
It went on for 6-7 years, depending a bit on how I count it.
Dating during reboot…
I continued to date here and there during my reboot because I had learned on all the forums that we need to rewire our sexual responses to real life people and AWAY from the pixels.
I started to see some small improvements, even with all my relapses in between, and those improvements motivated me because they showed me that “hey, rebooting actually works”. So I figured it was just a matter of getting better at rebooting so that I could reduce my relapse frequencies and eventually stop relapsing for good.
Some small improvements…
I became motivated to get the hang of rebooting. In fact, I decided to become a master at it!
I started reading everything I could get my hands on about how addictions work, how human psychology works and how the brain works. And of course…
…I read everything on YBOP over and over again.
I tried everything I could get my hands on…
During this period I also tried prescription ED drugs, which didn’t work that well at all.
Related post: does Viagra work for PIED?
I tried everything I could get my hands on in hope of finding something that could help me during my rewiring phase. I actually found two products that was pretty helpful and boosted both my libido and erection quite significantly.
This is also why I talk a bit about stuff like that on this website. If interested you can read about these two here…
I often felt like the worst rebooter ever…
Nofap was not easy for me. I struggled a lot and I relapsed often.
At times I felt like the worst rebooter ever because I struggled for so many months…
…so many years.
Anyway, after a lot o trial and error I finally started being able to build up really long streaks.
I knew I was close to cracking the porn addiction code.
I started figuring out how to stop relapsing!
For me, overcoming the addiction and the whole recovery process happened gradually.
I think it was somewhere in January 2019 that I had my last relapse.
I couldn’t believe it…
…I was finally free!
Started becoming more confident and started getting a healthier libido…
During the later part of my reboot I started to become more and more confident. And after a few semi long streaks I found that my drive for real life women became more and more noticeable.
Had to go through many flatlines…
However with so many relapses I also had to suffer through the flatline so many times.
They varied in length, but they were all pretty nasty, to say the least. But again, slowly but surely all the so called “NoFap benefits” started to roll around…
…one by one!
- My depression started to go away.
- I noticed how my social anxiety got better. (It never disappeared completely, though, since I’m genetically predisposed to anxiety)
- My confidence increased.
- I started to be able to build muscle faster.
- Started noticing more attraction towards real life woman, more and more as time went on.
The benefits went away at times…
Because of all the flatlines, and all the relapses some of NoFap benefits went away at times.
They always came back though, one by one, and fast forward to today…
No more erection problems…
I now have the same healthy libido for real life women that I did in my early twenties. And everything is working great, down there.
Yeah, things are “fun” again, like that time, 20 years ago when I thought sex was great and when I thought I was going to get to enjoy it for the rest of my life…
…well, guess what, that’s my thought process once again because…
…I’m back 🙂
Started helping others…
Since I had to suffer for so long, and had to learn so much about the brain and human behavior, in order to overcome my addiction and because I know how bad it feels, I decided that I now want to help other men get out of that same PMO hell-hole.
- This is why I now have a YouTube channel
- And my contact page where you can reach out to me for help
So there you have it, the first PMO story on this website.
I hope you enjoyed it and do check out the other stories as well, as soon as I get them up here. Every now and then there’s is some particularly interesting story in my email inbox that one of my subscribers decided he wants to share with me…
…so keep an eye out for those.