Have you been doing NoFap and now your libido is not anywhere near where you would want it to be?
While this is a somewhat common phenomenon, it is still a very disheartening thing for a man to have to go through. But there is hope and in this article I will share a few helpful tips on how to deal with this painful situation.
This article is divided into two parts…
- The science behind the low libido after NoFap
- Helpful tips on how to get libido back after NoFap, or during NoFap
Make sure to read the whole article to get a full picture of the situation.
Here we go…
Low Libido After NoFap
First there are a few things we need to clarify right from the start.
If there is a big “crash” in a mans libido after he takes a time out from ejaculating, it's a pretty clear sign that he has developed addiction related brain changes. These brain changes can range all the way from very mild to pretty severe, depending on the guy.
Now, when I say “addiction related brain changes” some of you may be asking; “addicted to what, exactly?”.
Good question, as it is an important one. We are talking about addiction to fapping to online porn. Fapping in and of itself is not powerful enough to create those addiction related brain changes…
…but today's super stimulating online porn is, and if you combine the two, which most guys does, it becomes even more powerful.
Before there were such a thing as internet, guys would never lose their libido by going without ejaculation, eve if they did it for weeks. In a normal healthy man, the libido is supposed to increase when being abstinent.
We need to go no further than to look at our older friends who talks about back when joining the army (in different countries around the world), and to listen to their stories about how not masturbating or being intimate with someone for weeks on end made them hornier and hornier until a soft breeze was all it took to give them a boner.
This is how young men are supposed to respond when going without release for some time. But today it is different because 99,9% of guys who are fapping today are fapping while using online pornography and today many men find that when they stop fapping (and using internet porn) their libido completely goes to sleep…
…this is a dead giveaway that porn has caused changes inside the brain. Addiction related brain changes.
Today's online pornography messes with your brain…
When it comes to porn and the brain, it is the endless novelty in combination with clicking from scene to scene, every 30 seconds or so, that is particularly destructive for your brain.
So why is this?
The brain releases dopamine whenever there is a possibility to do something that is vital for survival or for carrying our genes to the next generation…
…like sex, for example.
Well, the reward center in your brain does not know the difference between real sex and porn, so while you are opening your favorite porn site, your dopamine levels start to rise. Then after you have watched a porn clip for a while, the dopamine starts to drop back down again…
…in other words, it becomes a bit boring.
This is normal and the same thing happens with sex in real life. The dopamine drops after a few minutes in real life as well .
But then what do you do? – And here's where the problem starts…
As soon as this happens you click to a new clip, and immediately the dopamine levels in the brain spikes again. And efter perhaps just 20 seconds or so, you click to yet another new clip, and so you keep clicking from scene to scene like this, over and over…
So now you might say; “So, what's the problem with that then?”
Well, let me ask you this; when having sex in real life, can you click the button of a mouse to get a “new woman” as soon as the session is becoming a bit more uninteresting?
But with porn this is exactly what's happening and this means that you are keeping your dopamine levels sky high, far longer than the reward center is able to handle. With porn you are OVERRIDING your natural satiation mechanism in a way that is not possible to do in real life.
This is bad because when the brain notice that your dopamine levels are too high for too long, it starts to protect itself by knocking out a few dopamine receptors.
Now, dopamine is supposed to bind to those receptors in order for it to do its magic, and with fewer dopamine receptors, you have basically created a numb pleasure response in your brain…
Sky high dopamine levels causes your pleasure center to become desensitized…
Our brains are capable of handling dopamine levels that are pretty high, if they do not stay elevated for too long, but if they do stay elevated, the reward center will inevitable become desensitized…
…and YOU are left with a disrupted dopamine system in your brain.
A disrupted dopamine system has been linked to some, or several of the following symptoms…
- Lack of libido
- Depression and lack of pleasure in life (anhedonia)
- Fear and shame
- Low motivation and drive
- Poor focus, concentration and memory
There are more, but those are the most common ones for sure.
Some guys even develop full blown ED (PIED).
Related post: How to fix PIED
Now, this “desensitization” is just one of the brain changes that can happen if we are fapping to online porn on a regular basis.
There are several other brain changes as well, but in order to not make this article too long I will just mention then quickly, and then we will move on to the solutions.
Common brain changes involved in porn addiction (or in any addiction, really) are…
This is the one we just talked about
This is basically a super memory of pleasure and this is the one that is making you go on “autopilot” when relapsing
This one menas less blood flow to the front part of your brain, the “prefrontal cortex”, which is the part of your brain that is responsible for self control. Less blood flow mens less self control and more relapses. It also has a carryover effect, giving you less self control with everything in life
- A hyperactive stress center
This one is exactly what is sounds like. A part of your brains survival mechanism has been hijacked by the addiction, making your brain think it is crucial for survival, so much so that it massively increases stress levels if not getting it. This is why many porn addicts develop social anxiety or even panic attacks.
Low Libido After PMO Reboot
But Why Doesn't it Happen To Everyone?
This whole “low libido after NoFap” seem to be somewhat unfairly distributed amongst the nofappers / PMO rebooters out there.
Some guys automatically get a strong libido after some time doing NoFap, or PMO rebooting*, while other unlucky guys find themselves getting stuck in “no libido land”.
* A PMO reboot is basically the same as NoFap. PMO just stands for Porn-masturbation-orgasm, and rebooting refers to bringing back the brains natural sex drive for real life people instead of pixels on a screen.
The sexuality gets stuck in “sleeping mode”
Even though they are doing a full, healthy reboot, it is like some unlucky guys sexuality gets stuck in “sleeping mode” and their sexual center remains sleeping no matter how long they keep rebooting…
…if this is you, you should know that this is actually pretty common and this is why we often see depressing forum posts by these long term rebooters, complaining about how their life sucks without libido and, of course who can blame them?…
…having no libido at all can be very depressing, to say the least.
Ok, enough with the science already. Let's move on to some practical things you can do to get your libido back after NoFap.
First, whether or not you go back to fapping is of course up to you, but I would highly advice you to stay away from porn for the rest of your life, because it was porn that caused your brain changes to begin with…and thus your lack of libido.
This is How To Get Your Libido Back After NoFap
Ok, we finally came to the practical steps. Things you can actually do to wake your sleeping libido.
I urge you to consider all of these tips, as they are proven to work not just by me, but by countless of other men as well.
Let's move on to the libido solutions…
Tip # 1 Start Spending Much More Time With Real Life People
You literally have to retrain your brain to become aroused by real life people instead of pixels on a screen.
This can be done in several ways, but obviously it is best done by spending time with people in real life. This process is referred to as “rewiring” in the PMO rebooting community and that's because it is exactly what you are doing. You are rewiring your sexual center in the brain to start responding to real people again.
If you have a girlfriend…
If you already have a girlfriend, then your lucky, because even though rewiring can be done in many ways, the fastest way to retrain your brain is to be physically as close as possible to another person.
If you have been doing NoFap for some time now, and still see no signs of libido, I always recommend guys to start trying to have sex. One important thing to note here is that you don't need to a have libido in order to this…
…right now, for you, it's the other way around; you do this in order to slowly but surely start waking up your libido.
Remember even though penetration is probably the fastest way to rewire, you are still rewiring even if you are unable to do so at the moment. And as far as penetration goes, further down in this article, I will share some additional tips on what can help you with that during this phase of your recovery.
Don't go nuts here…see what I did there 😉
What I mean is, if you have been abstinent for a long period of time, you should NOT suddenly start ejaculating like crazy. You can have as much sex as you want, but when it comes to orgasms, you should build up slowly.
I recently got an email from a guy who had been rebooting for 6 months and then he started dating and during one Friday and Saturday they did it 8 times and he also ejaculated 8 times…
…it all went well, but his libido died again for several weeks after that and he had to go a few weeks without one single orgasms again in order to get it back.
A better scenario for him would have been: Two times sex on Friday, with only one ejaculation. Then slow and gentle sex on Saturday, without him ejaculating. Then he would most likely had a strong libido the next weekend as well.
Think about it like fasting. If you have done a 10 day fast, without eating any food at all, it would be extremely dangerous to go to an all you can eat pizza buffet to break your fast. That's not how we do things in life…
…we add things GRADUALLY!
If you are single…
If you are single it will be a bit more challenging for you to wake up your sleeping sexual center in the brain. I mean, you can't just run up to any random girl, suggesting; “hey, can you help me wake up my sexuality?”…
…I think we all know how that would end 🙂
However this does not mean you can't rewire.
You can still rewire…
For you, it is of absolute importance that you just speed A LOT of time around real life girls.
You have to understand that our whole body, all our functions and with all our 5 senses, are intertwined and even things like sight, smell, hearing and touch will help. Then we of course have our last sense “taste” here as well, but again, you can't really go around just randomly tasting girls, now can you?
The first step is of course to get out of your house…
- Go to a movie
- Go to a concert
- Go to the library and sit down at a table next to some girls
- Take a class or a course of some sort (cooking, painting, history, public speaking)
- Go get a massage (this is a good one)
- Sign up for dance classes (this one is the most powerful one)
- Start dating (the goal)
Now, I recommend you start dating as soon as possible. If you don't know how to get a date, well why not sign up for dance classes? Research show a really high percentage of people who join a dancing class end up finding a partner there…
…and even if you don't, dancing is phenomenal for rewiring your sexuality.
Think about it; when dancing you are spending a lot of time around, not only one woman, but several. In addition to that you swap partners often, and this alone could be enough to weak the primitive cave man side of you, you know, the part that wants to make sure he spreads his genes with as many women as possible to maximize the survival of his genes…
…but also, when you are dancing 4 of your 5 sense are HIGHLY engaged.
Your touch, sight, hearing, smell will all be “recording” the event and then even after the class is over, and when your home again, your brain will remember and start processing it all…
…even while you are sleeping at night.
With dance classes the most likely outcome will be your libido waking up gradually after a few classes. It probably wont happen in the middle of a class (although it can), but rather be more like your brain starting to more and more feel desire for some of the women you've spent time with and so, while you're sitting at home one day, you start to notice how you suddenly long for being close to one of them again. This is it! This is great as it is a real sign of your libido starting to wake up.
Do whatever you can to get dates. If you can, date several different women. Now, again, don't feel any pressure to jump into bed, which is probably not something you should aim for on your first date anyway, but just the time spent in close proximity to them will be extremely beneficial for you…
- Holding hands
- Smile, tough, smell
- Hugging and kissing
- And, of course, maybe sex
Even if you feel kind of flat and numb during your dates, just know that the dating is working its magic on your brain and your brain IS rewiring.
Now, you may have to keep doing this for quite some time in order to get your libido back, but so what? You'll get to know new people, learning new things and growing as a person during that period.
It sure is a heck of a lot better than spending time locked inside your house, jerking off to some extremely weird porn, wouldn't you agree?
Tip #2 Consider Trying The Libido Enhancer VigRX Plus
What you are looking at above is my kitchen table, but what's more interesting here is the natural libido supplement on it, VigRx plus.
For several years now I have been using this libido and erection enhancer and I have to say that it is probably the best one you can find out on the market today, and during all my years of rebooting, I think I've tried them all. Heck, I even tried prescription Viagra, but more on that in another article.
VigRX is made by a company called “Leading Edge Health” and what's so good about that company is that they conduct real clinical studies to be able to produce the best results. Some of those studies now show VigRx plus to give…
- A 62.82% Increase in the Ability to Maintain Erection
- A 58.97% Increase in the Ability to Penetrate Partner
- A 22.49% Increase in the Frequency and Quality of Orgasms
- A 71.43% Increase in Sexual & Intercourse Satisfaction
- A 47.00% Increase in Overall Sex Drive And Desire
If you want to take a closer look at the studies, you can find them on the VigRx vendor site by clicking here.
Even during my periods of lowest libido, back when I did my first struggling attempts at NoFap a few years ago, VigRx gave me erections hard enough to be able to have penetrative sex and rewire with real life women. And even though I was not fully recovered when I first started taking VigRx, the supplement was powerful enough to boost my libido significantly.
I suspect it works so well because it targets several areas at the same time…
- It stimulates the sexual and arousal center in your brain (increasing your sexual desire)
- It boosts testosterone a bit (the key hormone for sex drive)
- It increases blood flow to the nether regions (like Viagra)
- It makes you release nitric oxide (this relaxes the 2 long cylindrical tubes in the penis, letting more blood inside, resulting in noticeably fuller erections)
So yeah, I can personally attest to the efficacy of these small red pills and the further along you are on your NoFap / reboot journey, the more effective they will be…
…for example, if I use them today, when I'm fully recovered and my libido is pretty much back to normal, I literally get boners like I had when I was a teenager, and on top of that, I can go several rounds if I want to and sex feel incredible. And this, mind you, comes from a 43 year old guy (at the time of writing this article).
If you are interested in discovering more, you can click here to check current VigRx pricing at the online vendor site.
It takes a while for the effects to build up though, so be aware of that.
While I feel the effects after about 5-7 days, for me the strongest effects kicks in after about two weeks of taking it.
Tips # 3 Take Cold Showers!
Cold showers are not fun….
…at least not in the moment.
In fact, few things are as painful, in the moment, as taking a 3 minute cold shower with the knob turned all the way to the coldest setting, however, the feeling you get after they are done can be nothing short of miraculous.
Cold showers jolt your whole system so hard, resulting in a massive increase in several different body chemicals, that I seriously believe that cold showers alone can potentially wake your sleeping libido (if you're lucky).
At least they can significantly increase libido in people who did not cause brain changes from using porn…
…but even for people who did, I still believe they can be very helpful.
Cold showers increase the amount of dopamine receptors…
Remember how I in the beginning of this article explained how overriding your natural satiation mechanism, by jumping from one porn clip to another…and another…and another, can cause your dopamine receptors to die?
Well, studies have shown that cold showers actually do the opposite. That's right, cold showers INCREASE the number of dopamine D2 receptors in the reward circuitry of your brain.
In theory, this could mean that cold showers may help speed up your whole recover process.
In addition to this, cold showers also increase dopamine itself (but not to the point of desensitizing you, so don't worry about that) and for some people cold showers also increase the testosterone production. ( I talk bore about this in the testosterone video, further down in the article)
This is good because, testosterone and dopamine cooperate and they are the two main players, driving your whole libido…
…which leads me to the last tip…
Tip #4 Optimize Your Testosterone Production
Even though it is possible to achieve erections and have penetrative sex with pretty low levels of testosterone, high levels of testosterone undoubtedly cause fuller erections and a much stronger sex drive than low levels of testosterone will ever do.
High testosterone levels are also associated with…
- Higher motivation and drive
- Better memory and focus
- More aggressiveness
- More confidence
- Better mood regulation
- Easier to build muscle and lose body fat
…so, perhaps needless to say, most men want their testosterone levels to be as high as possible.
There are A LOT of things you can do to help your body's own testosterone production, and in order to not make this article too long, take a look at this video I made I while back, where I share the exact steps I personally took to 4X my testosterone levels, all in a natural way.
Take a look at this video where I share the steps I took to 4X my own testosterone levels…
in the end of the video, you can click here to check current pricing at the online vendor.
Low Libido After PMO Reboot
Ok, so there you have it. I really hope this video has been both informative and helpful.
Remember, if you have been on NoFap for a long time now, and you see no signs of libido, the last thing you should be doing is to stay inside and just wait for it to show up…
…no, you have to get proactive and go out there and start living life, otherwise there is no reason for your libido to ever wake up.
Yes, I know, a lot of guys are lucky enough to get their mojo back automatically, but unfortunately many guys need to aggressively throw themselves out there in order to make it happen.
Personally, I was one of those guys and there are millions of guys out there who just need to get active in order to kickstart their libido…
…and chances are, you too, are one of those guys.
Thank you for reading.
P.S. Are you struggling? Click here to go to my contact page to discover what kind of help I’m currently offering.
Related post: Does quitting porn increase libido?
FAQ's About Low Libido After Reboot
Q: I'm on my second month of nofap and my libido is completely dead. I'm freaking out and want to go back to porn. Should I try relapsing just to see if I'm even working?
A: Don't relapse! You are going through a flatline and it is very normal for guys giving up porn. You just have to keep pushing through and you will get out of it soon enough. Spend a lot of time around real life girls and try not to worry so much about the numb feeling you are having right now. Just know that, as long as you stay away from fapping to porn, you will get out of it. Keep going!
Q: I have been rebooting for 6 months now and the last two weeks my libido seems to be getting stronger. How do I deal with libido after nofap? I'm a bit afraid of having sex as I don't want to stall my progress…
A: You don't have to be afraid of having sex with a real life person. What you should be afraid os is having sex with pixels on a computer screen. That said, you should monitor how your libido responds to having orgasms. You might want to go slow with ejaculating in the beginning and gradually build it up, all while monitoring how you respond. Don't go crazy with 10 ejaculations your very first week. Stay in the moment, and try to enjoy it.
Q: How long do I have to wait before I start rewiring?
A: First you should know that there are no rules. Well, if there were rules the one and only rule would be “stay away from fapping to porn”. In other words, you don't have to put your life on hold just because you are rebooting. Go out there and spend time with real life people. You can rewire from your very first day, if you want to, but stay away from orgasms in the beginning. At least limit them significantly. Also, in addition to that, many guys find it beneficial with a complete time out for a couple of months or so in the beginning. A time when you take a break from anything sexual and just focus on working on yourself and your goals. We are all different though, and in the end, YOU are the one making up your own rules. To sum it up, you don't have to wait to rewire, you can even start having sex, but I recommend holding back the orgasms in the beginning.
Q: When it comes to Nofap and libido, does rewiring mean the same as retraining?
A: Pretty much, yes. You are retraining your brain to respond to real life people. During all the years of fapping to porn you have wired your sexuality to become aroused by pixels on a screen. For many guys to the point of ONLY being able to respond to those pixels. By rewiring you retrain your sexuality to find real life people interesting again and in order to do that, you need to completely cut out masturbating to porn while you at the same time put yourself out there, in real life, again. Hope that helps.
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