How Can I Quit Porn Alone?
Online pornography is a destructive supernormal stimulus that may provide temporary relief, but can for some people produce long-lasting suffering. Unfortunately, many people are unaware of the negative effects until it is too late.
The good news, however, is that you can overcome pornography addiction despite its mind and behavioral controlling power.
Let's take a look…
How Online Porn Harms Your Mind and Influences Your Behavior
You may perhaps already be familiar with the nasty withdrawal effects online porn can create.
They come about every time you try to quit or have no access to x-rated content – from intrusive memories and thoughts to sleepless nights, aggression, intense craving for porn, depression, and anxiety.
In order to be able to make it easier to overcome this addiction it is beneficial to develop a good understanding how online porn affects your brain.
The reward pathways in your brain…
The first time you indulged in online porn, you activated the reward pathway, which is responsible for pleasure, calmness, satisfaction, and motivation in the brain.
The activity surrounding your actions stimulated a dopamine release with a higher concentration than the surge created through other natural processes, such as socializing, eating food or just taking a walk in nature.
The dopamine effect eventually wore off, but your brain never forgot the beloved “high” that was intense and long-lasting. From that day on, your brain chose to favor the porn-activated reward circuit over the normal reward pathway.
Other brain chemicals play a part as well…
Dopamine is the feel-good hormone that mediates the reward pathway. But in therms of brain chemistry, there is more going on.
Other hormones and chemicals like endorphins, serotonin, oxytocin, and vasopressin stimulate and prolong the dopaminergic effects sustaining the euphoric state for long periods.
What goes up, must come down…
Feel-good hormones that mediate the reward circuit naturally inhibit the stress response, also known as anxiety. Unfortunately, dopamine levels fizzle below baseline levels after heightened release and activity.
The sharp drop stimulates the release of stress hormones in high concentrations. The hormones sustain and manage the stress response. That is why you always feel low, disinterested, and negative after every pornographic episode.
Your training for the wrong sport…
Serotonin, released during the euphoric state, motivates you toward consuming porn content whenever you need to improve your mood. Oxytocin and vasopressin, also known as bonding hormones, make you form an attachment with the sexual content.
Thus, only such content will arouse, motivate, or satisfy your appetite. I.e. if you want to be highly functional in the real world, you are training for the wrong sport.
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The progress of getting hooked…
At first, you may be able to control your urges. However, every engagement with the x-rated content strengthens the porn-activated reward pathway and slowly turns you into a slave. The brain chemicals released through porn also increase your affinity to pornography
- Progressive desensitization raises the threshold porn intensity, or quantity consumed, to achieve that initial “high” – that is why you went from one video a day to persistent porn watching. As well as maybe escalated into starting watching more extreme stuff.
- Serotonin and dopamine both responsible for those awful withdrawal symptoms, manifesting as soon as the hormone levels dwindle – motivating long-term porn-watching behavior to sustain its levels in the brain indefinitely.
- Oxytocin and vasopressin make you a slave to graphic images, reducing your affinity toward physical contact with humans. I.e you are bonding to pixels on a screen rather than to real life people.
The master becomes the slave…
Before long, the very thing you could easily control becomes your master. While the brain is a faithful student, it is a ruthless master – as it seeks to control and dominate.
Fortunately, you can use similar mechanisms to regain control of your mind and modify your behavior. The solutions require patience, motivation and dedication because it takes about a month or so to form new habits, and a bit longer than that to reinforce a new brain circuit.
Find constructive habits…
Congratulations on deciding to quit porn. It is the first step toward overcoming this addiction.
Keep in mind that you currently have an active reward pathway that only finds relief from porn. Fortunately, nerve circuits are malleable – this is why pornographic content reconfigured your reward pathway.
However, you can craft a new reward circuit that activates by constructive psychoactive behavior like, for example…
- Exercise- physical workout releases feel-good hormones while keeping you in good shape and improving your cardiovascular health.
- Learn a new skill – a new hobby like skateboarding, competitive sports, baking, tailoring, or jewelry making can help you spend your time constructively and motivate you toward excellence in the craft.
- Join a Cause – become an advocate against sexual exploitation. The dangers in the pornographic industry are vast. It is porn consumers that fuel this multi-billion dollar sector.
- Start a side business and keep building on it.
- Prioritize friends and loved ones – porn can, in worst cases, destroys families and relationships. Shift your energy toward rebuilding served ties.
Stop feeding the addiction…
Just like any other maladaptive behavior, you have to starve your cravings.
Your brain will fight this attempt. Therefore, be prepared to fight back.
- Slot constructive activities when you are most vulnerable to consuming pornographic content.
- Avoid being idle – read a book, go for a walk, take a hike, or spend time with loved ones.
- Increase your knowledge of the effects of porn addiction and the impact of pornography in the world.
Find the underlying reason behind your addiction…
Most porn addictions, like other habits, has a cause. You will require to search deep within yourself to uncover what led you down this path – this is known as introspection or self-reflection.
Examine your life without judgment or being dismissive. Assess every thought, emotion, or action that informed your resolve about pornography.
Uncover and disempower the underlying issue. When you resolve past issues, you deny them the power to control your present and future. Make peace with the past, heal old wounds, and settle scores. It is the only way to start on a clean slate in your journey against porn addiction.
Know your triggers…
Become aware of the conditions that increase your vulnerability to consuming pornographic content. Be ready to cut off relationships certain online activities, destroy content, or limit access to the x-rated material.
You can address, avoid, or destroy triggers depending on their nature.
Regulate your thoughts…
The saying, you are what you think, is factual. You become what you think. The pornographic content you have been consuming has already primed your mind like Pavlov's dogs, the experimental canine conditioned to know its meal time by ringing a bell.
Some tips to control your thoughts…
- Avoid thought suppression. It creates a rebound effect making you think incessantly of the thought you are actively ignoring.
- Acknowledge your thoughts without indulging – even those intrusive thoughts based on your previous experiences with pornographic content.
- Learn to rationalize your thinking – thoughts are not factual. They are a product of your experience, biases, and perception. Add logic to your thought pattern.
- Train yourself to take a pose from sexualized thinking – do not feed on your fantasies, distract yourself with soothing music, take a walk, or meditate.
- Practice mindfulness to focus on the present. Mindfulness lets you concentrate on work, food, people, or routine without entertaining pornographic distractions or chasing illusions.
Join a recovery group…
We know that the tile of this post is, How can I quit porn alone?
Still, we would like to urge you to consider getting some kind of support.
Porn addiction is multi-faceted, affecting your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. All your DIY interventions need to target these areas. One way to find resources and techniques to overcome porn addiction is by joining a support group.
A support group provides tried and tested behavioral, thought, and emotion regulation skills. You also find ready acceptance since members are going through similar struggles.
You get help to overcome tough days and people to celebrate milestones. Most importantly, you will find people to keep you accountable on your journey to living an addiction-free life.
A good online course and recovery group for people who want to quit porn is called Dopamine Discipline. We strongly recommend you check it out.
Consult a counseling psychologist…
A therapist has all the resources, experience, and expertise needed to overcome addiction. They will also provide the support and accountability you need to continue walking this journey free of addiction. You do not need to struggle alone when you can find help today.
Written by,
DFW-Team
P.S. If you have any questions about rebooting or you want my help with anything, you can always reach out to Scandinavian Bob through his contact page right here.
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