7 Actionable Things To Do After a Porn Relapse (#3 is Vital)

What To Do After a Porn Relapse

So, you're trying to quit porn and things didn't really go as planned today?

You had a little slip and now you're wondering what's the best way to recover from a porn relapse?

Well, you've just found the right place because in this blog post you will discover how to best move forward after you have had a porn relapse, and, hey, don't worry…

…you're not alone.

Let's take a closer look at what to do after relapsing to porn…

#1 Don't beat yourself up

This one is important and I made it step one for a reason.

We all have a tendency to be hard on ourselves after a porn relapse. This is understandable because, well, if we break our own promises it's only natural to feel disappointed. Especially when it comes to important things, like getting rid of stuff that affects our lives in a negative way.

However, beating yourself up after a relapse will only increase your risk of further relapses. Perhaps the following day or later that week.

If you're hard on yourself, you increase the risk of further relapses…

You see, if you are struggling with porn relapses, chances are you have developed at least some degree of addiction related brain changes.

And you should know that if you beat yourself up and you're incredibly hard on yourself after a porn relapse, your self esteem will drop so much that you'll start to look for a way to escape that uncomfortable feeling…

…well, what's the quickest way for an addict to escape?

That's right, he will escape into the very thing he's addicted to.

An alcoholic will escape into the wonderful world of alcohol. A gambler runs off to the casino, and a porn addict will lose himself in the cybersex jungle!

Adapt an understanding mindset…

I know it's easier said than done, but instead of beating yourself up about the relapse, try to adapt a more “understanding” mindset.

Relapses happen!

It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with you for relapsing. It's just that you have trained your brain to get a dopamine fix from all those nasty websites, and now when you're so used to that, it's kind of hard to not slip back, from time to time.

Now, I'm not saying you have to try to force positive thinking either, where you go..

…”wohoo, a relapse doesn't matter at all” …

…no no no! Of course your goal should be to eventually get rid of your porn relapse altogether, but realize that overcoming an addiction can be a pretty long journey and that most people will fall into the ditch, from time to time, as they trudge forward on the bitter road uphil.

#2 Instantly after relapsing readjust your “rebooting GPS”

Since a porn relapse tends to knock the air out of us, it's also very common that we lose every ounce of motivation we had when we were riding high on a good NoFap streak.

Indeed, immediately after a relapse the idea of taking a cold shower, going for a run or meditating sounds almost laughable to us.

The very thought of doing something like that makes us go…“what's the point?!?”

This mindset of ‘things making no difference' is something we have to push against and not accept, because the truth is…

…it makes all the difference in the world!

Re-adjusting your GPS will prevent descending into a relapse cycle

That's right, immediately after a relapse you should do something that you otherwise do, when you're riding high, to assist you in being porn-free.

By instantly taking some action that go well in line with some of your long term goals you will feel s much better, and not only that, it will also help prevent further relapses, that so often otherwise accompany the first one.

I know this may sound a bit strange, but I'm dead serious.

If you instantly, after a relapse, and I mean within the very first 30 minutes of a relapse, do something that reinforce your desired identity, it will help you more than you think.

  • If you are a person that take cold showers, go take one immediately after a relapse.
  • If you are a runner, go for a run.
  • If you have an online business, go do some work.

By doing that, it is like you're readjusting your “rebooting GPS”, and it will help you stay on track the coming days.

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You see, a relapse rarely comes alone!

I.e. once we relapse we tend to lose momentum and face several relapses within a fairly short time frame. And if you you start wallowing in self-pity and engage in other low value dopamine activities, e.g. going for a few beers, eating some junk food and skip your workout you will greatly amplify that risk.

Go against your intuition…

After a relapse, your intuition is going to be to continue your search for low value dopamine activities.

Going for things like…

  • Alcohol…
  • Junk food…
  • Weed…
  • Skipping your workout, lie on the couch with a a milkshake while binging on Netflix…
  • Burying yourself in video games…

Yo have to be strong here and not let yourself do that.

If you instead, instantly take some action that are in line with your desired identity or the goals you wish to achieve in life, you are sending a powerful message to yourself that you are back in business and that what happened was merely a slip. Yes, you got thrown off the horse by relapsing, but by instantly taking action, you show your brain that you're back on track.

And, as I said, it will help you feel so much better.

So, I repeat, do not follow your intuition and start chasing more instant gratification stuff after a porn relapse. It's a trap that just leads to more relapses.

#3 Find out where you went wrong…

This step is also very important.

So, if you have just relapsed to porn and you're wondering how to recover after a porn relapse, please do NOT skip this…

You need to sit down and think about how the relapse happened…

  • What steps led up to it?
  • At what point did you start steering towards it?
  • What can you do to prevent it next time, if the same sequence of events happens again?

Really sit down and think about it.

What triggers did you have? When did they start? Were you emotionally upset? Did you break any of your rebooting rules you have set for yourself?

It's not something you have to do within the very first 30 minutes after a relapse, like the previous step (step #2 ), but you should definitely do it within the same day the porn relapse happened.

Here I need to point out that, if it's not a matter of a visual trigger e.g. getting slapped in the face with a booty shaking video when aimlessly browsing the web, but you just cave in, choosing to relapse, more often than not, the relapsing seed has been planted long before you realize it.

With a bit of digging, you can localize that point in time, analyze your thought process and see what you come up with. To assist you in this I highly recommend writing a journal…

…which leads us to the next step.

#4 Journaling…

Related to the last point, here goes…

Having a journal that you write a few lines in (preferable on a daily basis) is the single best thing you can do to get to know emotional triggers, your weaknesses and everything that increases your risk or a porn relapse.Well, perhaps private counseling could be an exception, but for some people journaling can be almost as effective.

Writing is like thinking on steroids. Not only that, it is organized thinking…on steroids.

With normal thinking, thoughts tend to spin around very fast and it's hard to get a grip on them, especially if we're trying to analyze something. Like we need to be doing after a porn relapse.

Just trust me on this.

If you're not already journaling, then consider starting right away because it will be of immense value for your porn reboot. And not only that, it'll obviously be helpful for other aspects of your life as well.

If you searched for how to recover from a porn relapse and if you were only allowed to get a one word answer, I think the word “journal” would be a top candidate.

#5 Consider trying this porn relapse recovery protocol

Back when I did my own reboot a few years back, I too, like so many others, struggled with porn relapses.

So much so that I created a personal “relapse recovery protocol”, which I later on shared on YouTube.

Now, I have to point out that this is not something that you have to do in order to recover from a porn relapse. You will recover just fine without it, but it could potentially speed up the recovery process as well as perhaps somewhat midigate the negative effects of the relapse…

…and since I know there are a lot of people out there who really want to do whatever it takes to speed things along, I've decided to share it.

What to do after a porn relapse?
The relapse recovery protocol below might help speed things up…

If you found the video informative, consider checking out my YouTube channel here.

Now, if you're wondering about the biological process of how this might help, you need to understand what “desensitization” is.

In the video below, I explain exactly what desensitization is, how and when it happens when you're watching online porn…

…take a look right now…

(The title in the video above may be a bit provocative, but I'm sure you'll find the content very interesting)

If you watched the video above, you should now you have an excellent understanding on what desensitization really is and what part it plays in your recovery.

Alright, let's move on the the next one…

#6 Consider trying Dopamine Discipline

If relapsing to porn is something you have struggled with for more than 6 months now, then it would be smart of you to consider getting some help.

Why?

Well, because, addiction is a progressive disease. Meaning, it tends to get worse over time. For each year you struggle with trying to quit, it gets progressively harder, all while the negative effects of the addiction tend to worsen.

Dopamine Discipline is created by a licensed therapist and is an online course for guys who want to quit using porn. Unlike all the other course out there, this one builds on a concept called habit construction therapy (HCT) and it produces absolutely phenomenal results.

Prerecorded videos and exercises…

Each module has prerecorded videos that are easy to consume, and by doing the exercises you're presented to in those modules (at your own pace), you'll be getting every tool you need in order to quit watching porn.

You're own accountability group…

When signing up to the course you also get to have your own accountability group. A group with 3-4 guys that you can communicate with 24/7 on for example  WhatsApp, or whatever media you choose.

Think about that for a while => you'll have access to support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

If interested, click here to check current pricing for Dopamine Discipline over at the sales page.

Live coaching call with the therapist…

As if this wasn't enough, you also get access to a private Facebook group with other members that, just like you, want to quit watching porn. Over there you can also ask questions, motivate each other and participate in live coaching calls with some of the instructors there.

Now, you do not have to participate in the live calls if you don't want to, but obviously it's very helpful, so you should really consider taking advantage of it.

You can click here to check current pricing if this is something that sounds interesting to you.

#7 Make only small adjustments…

One common error I see a lot of guys make after a porn relapse is that they come up with a new set of “rebooting rules” that are way too hard.

Now, by “rebooting rules” I'm not talking about things to avoid in terms of digital arousal, because with that it's actually good to have very strict rules. But I'm talking about guys feeling so guilty after having relapsed that they try to compensate for it by making their next streak some kind of a “super streak”.

After a porn relapse I often see guys start going; “alright, that's it, during my next streak I'm going to…”

  • Run 60 minutes every single day
  • Take 2 cold showers every single day
  • Meditate for 90 minutes every single day
  • Journal for an hour every single day
  • Do intermittent fasting every single day
  • …etc.. ect…

…yeah well, good luck with that!

Those are things that are fine to do for a couple of days, like in the porn recovery protocol I shared in the video above, but you can not be that extreme in the long run. It's just too damn hard. You simply won't be able to stick with it (unless your last name happen to be Goggins, of course).

And here's the deal…

If you set up your rebooting goals in a way that you will start skipping them, then the “no porn” rule is also going to be in danger because cheating is contagious, meaning it spreads into all areas of our life.

It's much better to set modest goals that you know you'll be able to stick to even on those days when you're having low energy and you don't feel like doing hardly anything.

How To Recover From A Porn Relapse
Final Words…

I hope you've found this blog post informative and helpful.

Lastly, and this could have been a pointer on it's own, never ever give up, no matter how seemingly difficult it is.

After a porn relapse, we often feel like this is just impossible….it's something we will never be able to get out of. But trust me when I say, you can do it.

And if you keep spinning your wheel, remember that there is help. Don't hesitate to use it, because one thing is for sure…

…life is so much better on the other side of porn.

Thanks for reading,

-Scandinaian Bob-

 

 

 

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