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5 Deadly Resons Why It’s So Hard To Stop Watching Porn

By BobPosted on

Why It's So Hard To Stop Watching Porn

Let's face it, if you have gotten into the habit of regularly “doing your deed” with the help of some good old nasty porn sites, this can be a very hard habit to break.

Especially if you've developed a porn addiction.

But even if it's just a bad habit, it can be a bit tricky to get out of, simply because of the fact that sexuality is literally the strongest force in  human biology.

Let's take a look at 5 reasons why it's so hard to stop watching porn.

By doing so, you'll be better equipped as you can the navigate your reboot, armed with knowledge, backed with confidence and a better understanding of how things work.

#1 Watching porn causes a big spike in dopamine – And too much dopamine can cause addiction related brain changes

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is responsible for making you motivated to go after things that help govern survival, reproduction and carrying your DNA to the next generation.

The most obvious ones are of course food, water and sex.

Under those you can then find subcategories like for example…

  • Working on your goals and / or climbing in status (because it indirectly leads to more mating opportunities)
  • Gambling (because it can lead to winning money, which is a menas for survival)
  • Watching porn (your brains reward system thinks you have found the evolutionary jackpot)
  • Playing videogames (you level up in the game -status- instead of in real life)

…and so on.

There are literally thousands of things that raise dopamine.

Now, before we even start, I need to point out that there is nothing inherently wrong with dopamine. Heck, even drinking a glas of water, or doing physical exercise spikes your dopamine. Wee need dopamine, and without it we wouldn't even function.

Okay, so now when that's stated we can go ahead and look at the darker side of this small neurotransmitter and that is the fact that too much dopamine can cause addiction related brain changes!

Here's what can happen if you watch too much porn…

Since your brains reward system thinks all those hot babes on the screen is a real mating opportunity, dopamine skyrockets to the highest possible level. No other natural activity or substance can drive it higher than sex. Some chemicals can (drugs), but no other natural thing.

With porn you can keep that dopamine buzzing for a very long time as well (far longer than what you can with real sex) by clicking from video to video, scene to scene all while changing categories, fast forwarding and jumping from porn star to porn star…

…sometimes for hours at end.

If you keep doing that, here's what's going to happen…

Enter: DeltaFosB and the creation of a “super memory”…

If you keep dopamine elevated for a very long time, a protein called DeltaFosB starts to accumulate in the brain. That protein can then start to alter the brain, creating addiction related brain changes.

This is the biggest reason for why it's so hard to stop watching porn.

Four major brain changes start to form.

These are…

  • Sensitization = a super memory of pleasure
  • Desensitization = a numb pleasure response
  • Hypofrontality = weakened self control
  • Malfunctioning stress center = makes you crave something to “take the edge off”

In order to learn more about those four brain changes, please take a look at the following two videos, I made a while back…

Part 1

Part 2

If you found the videos informative, consider checking out my YouTube channel right here.

If you watched both of the videos you now have a basic understanding of the four fundamental brain changes work.

If you're looking for the shortest answer possible to why it's so hard to stop watching porn, then here it is. Too much dopamine can cause a a build up of a protein called “DeltaFosB”. That, in turn, can cause 4 major addiction related brain changes. And those 4 brain changes are the biggest reasons for why it's so hard to quit watching porn.

A short summary of the video and how the 4 brain changes can make it hard to quit watching porn…

  • Sensitization
  • Desensitization
  • Hypofrontality
  • Malfunctioning stress center

Sensitization…

Sensitization means that you've become very sensitive to triggers or anything that reminds you of your drug of choice (in this case porn). One could say that sensitization is basically a “super memory” of pleasure.

The sensitized pathways in your brain are very nasty in the sense that they can be silent for a big part of your day only to, in the next second, light up like a Christmas tree.

A super memory is making you relapse…

When this happens you get an inner picture / prediction of just how good it would feel to watch some porn.  This ‘prediction' is a, hard to ignore, craving that consists of a combination of thoughts, emotions, and visual images…

…all spinning around in your brain.

Given that we now have formed these sensitized pathways and this nasty super memory of pleasure, no wonder, then, why it's so hard to stop watching porn.

Desensitization…

Desensitization is basically a numb pleasure response. It makes you desensitized to pretty much any activity in life. That's right, a numb pleasure response makes all those day to day activities seem less interesting and more gray.

Music doesn't sound as good, socializing is no longer as fun. Having sex with a real life person pales in comparison to porn. Reading a book is very boring. Making food just feels like it takes a lot of work…

…and on and on we go, I think you get thge picture…

…basically, desensitization makes your much more boring on every front, driving you to desperately seek comfort.

When life is seems this gray, we naturally try to escape into whatever dopamine increasing activity is closest to us. A person who is addicted to alcohol will run to the nearest bar. A gambler will find the closest casino. A porn addict tries to escape into the wonderful world of cybersex. The sad thing here is that those escapism behaviors will only further desensitize you, creating a vicious cycle…another reason for why quitting porn is so hard, right there.

Hypofrontality…

Hypofrontality means ‘a less than normal functioning prefrontal cortex' (PFC). The addiction has created a weakened PFC and this is the part of your brain that is responsible for self control.

Basically, the part of your brain that is supposed to stop you from doing stupid things is not functioning optimally.

Every time you give in to a craving and go against your own intentions, you are literally losing a bit of your “self control muscle”. This is yet another reson why quitting porn is so difficult.

You CAN strengthen your brain as well…

But let's end on a good note here and state that the opposite is also true; every time you feel a craving and you choose to not act on it, you actually strengthen your PFC a bit.

Malfunctioning stress system…

The malfunctioning stress center that the addiction has created means that you now become much easier stressed out by things in your day to day life. Even seemingly small, innocent, things can make you very tense, nervous and on edge.

The addiction has hijacked your stress center and now it interprets your drug of choice (i.e. porn) to be absolutely vital for survival. Naturally you are then going to start using porn just to take the edge off that stress.

So, as you can see, all those addiction related brain changes play their part in making it very difficult not to fall back into your old habits.

But, there's more going on….

…while those addiction related brain changes play the biggest part in you relapsing, there are other things to consider as well.

Let's take a look at a few practical and psychological reasons that can make quitting porn difficult…

#2 You're not filling the “void”

Ripping something out of your life that you've been using for pleasure, an escape or just to numb the boredom of life in general, will leave a black hole after it.

A void, if you will….

…and you will have to deal with that.

You can't just quit a bad habit without replacing it with something else.

This goes for almost all habits, but it is especially true if it's a very powerful habit, and even more so, if addiction related brain changes have set in.

Put the same amount of time on something else…

So, another reason for why it's so hard to stop watching porn for guys out there, is because they keep spending the same amount of time in front of their computer, or with their phone, while simultaneously trying to not relaps back to porn…

…this, let me tell you, is a recipe for failure!

Let's say you used to spend 5 hours a week on watching porn. Well, a good rule of thumb would then be to spend at least that same amount of time on some OTHER interest, that you do away from the scree. E.g. playing a musical instrument, gym training, dance classes, hiking, running etc.

And I repeat, I said “at least the same amount”.

In fact, in the beginning of your NoFap  journey (NoFap is basically an internet term from giving up porn) I would actually like to encourage spending 2x the time you used on porn on something else. And this, something else, should be something you do away from the screen.

Do you really have to 2x, like that? 

Of course not, but it will drastically increase your chances of successfully staying away from porn relapses.

#3 Some of your emotional needs aren't being met…

I realize this section might not draw as much interest as the other ones, but I assure you, it's a very important one.

So please do NOT skip it.

In fact, some addiction experts argue that the very root of addictions are due to the individual not meeting some of his core emotional needs.

As always it's not black and white, and the truth is to be found somewhere in the middle. I.e. a lot of guys find it hard to stop watching porn because they lack something in life, while others just like to watch naked babes online, and with time, that dopamine spiking activity has crated those physical brain changes we talked about earlier.

Your job, then, is to take a deep look in what category you belong.

Are you trying to fill a need with you porn use?

If the answer is yes, then you should know that quitting porn is going to be very difficult unless you find something else to fill that need with. Something that is more productive and healthy.

Here are the 6 human needs, according to Tony Robbins…

  1. Certainty
  2. Variety
  3. Significance
  4. Connection and love
  5. Growth
  6. Contribution

Connection and love…

The most common need that guys are trying to fill with their porn use is “connection and love”. I think that's pretty easy to understand. But porn can also be used to try to meet some of the other needs.

Variety…

For example, if you think you have a boring life, you could try to use porn to meet the need of “variety”, as the internet provides you with unending novelty.

Not only that, but novelty in the highest “value form” as far as your reptilian brain is concerned. Remember, for your reward center reproduction is the top priority.

Significance…

What about significance, then?

How could your brain possible think meeting this need would be possible by firing up good old PornHub?

Well, just think about it.

It all goes back to the reptilian brain…

…remember that your reptilian thinks thinks looking at all those hot babes online is a real mating opportunity. And by instantly getting access to all kinds of hot babes, you clearly must be a very high status male. I mean, who else would have his own harem with thousands of the youngest and most attractive women on the planet at his disposal? Obviously you must be a very important and significant male then…right?

If some of you now say…

“Oh come on! My reptilian brain is not that stupid that it doesn't understand that porn sites are not a real mating opportunity!”

Well, we could easily use some clear thinking here and counteract with…

“Oh yeah? Why are porn making you horny, then? Why does the brain send erection signals to your penis whenever you fire up your favorite porn site?”

No offence, but your reptilian brain is not that smart. In fact, that's the very nature of the reptilian brain. Hence the name “reptilian”, it's a primal system.

Certainty…

Even certainty can be met in some form by using porn.

You can be certain that fapping to porn for an hour or two will give you a state change and you get to forget about your day to day life for a while.

However, the problem with using porn for this need, or any of the other needs, is that it only works in the moment. In the long run it only makes it worse.

The more porn people use, the more addicted they tend to get. And the more addicted they get, the more lonely they start to feel. And the more lonely they start to feel, the more they are longing for connection. And the more they are longing for connection, the more they escape into porn…

…talk about a vicious cycle.

If you recognize yourself in any of this, ask yourself; how can I meet my needs in a more healthy, productive and better way than by fapping to porn?

Getting ‘unstuck' by meeting the needs another way…

Click the image above to check out Josh Hudson's phenomenal course for quitting porn…

Josh Hudson is one of the best licensed therapists out there, when it comes to helping men overcome their porn addiction.

He has created an online course that has now helped thousands of men quit porn for good, by understanding and pinpointing what emotional need guys are trying to meet with their porn use.

He calls it, habit construction therapy (HCT) and it produces absolutely phenomenal results. Not only does the course help you pin point the problem, but it also gives you a step by step solution on how to quit for good…

…and this is no matter if your problem stems from escapism, trying to fill a need, or just having a plain old bad habit / addiction in general.

If you're interested in this, you can…

#4 Too much aimless browsing in general

Another factor that's making porn a difficult thing to quit is the very nature of our modern world.

Back when I was a kid there was no internet and we had to search like crazy to find porn (and boy did we search).

But in today's world it's literally impossible to not get slapped in the face, every once in a while, with some adult content while scrolling on some social media platform….

….and this is even if you try to avoid it!

This is why it's so important to NOT spend a lot of time aimlessly browsing the net at night. After your work or school day is over, set a time limit on how much you're allowed to use the internet for recreational use. And then commit to yourself to follow it, without exception.

I also recommend that you plan in advance on what you're going to do online before you go there. While this may sound like too much of a hustle, trust me, it will save you from a lot of relapses.

Also, keep in mind that it's more important in the beginning of your reboot. Once you start getting a stronger prefrontal cortex, after a few weeks or so, you can start softening your rules a bit.

If you want to learn more about how to implement strategies and how to navigate this, check out my post called NoFap – How to stop relapsing forever.

5# Poor lifestyle habits

Alcohol and partying…

Another thing that makes a lot of guys struggle to quit watching porn is poor lifestyle habits. If you have a ‘party animal mindset' and you're going hard on the weekends, then you are definitely making it harder for you.

Too much partying is obviously also going to lead to less sleep and that will instantly make you more prone to relapses.

Instant gratification…

The same goes if you spend too much time on other instant gratification stuff in general, like eating chips and playing way too many hours of video games several days of the week.

Here's the deal: habits tend to have a carryover effect into other areas of our life. If you're hammering the instant gratification thing too hard in life in general, then opening up that porn site is always going to be a very easy option for you as well…

…an option that will always be there, 5 seconds away, as soon as you feel a smal craving or a need for a quick escape.

Now, I'm not saying you can't have any form of instant gratification in your life. What I'm saying is, too much of it will definitely make wuitting porn harder for you.

Lack of physical exercise…

This one goes hand in hand with the the two above, but I still need to point it out…

…if you can't muster up the self discipline to get your butt off the couch then you won't have much success with taking on something as difficult as quitting porn either.

Physical exercise also increases your willpower in general, by strengthening the prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that is responsible for self control.

I wholeheartedly believe that doing some form of physical exercise, at least few days a week, is a must for anyone who want's to give up porn.

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Why is it so hard to stop watching porn?
Final words…

So there you have it, those are the absolute biggest reasons for why quitting porn can be so difficult.

Now, everyone of us is different, but I'm pretty sure that the 4 addiction related brain changes we talked about in the beginning of the article are THE biggest problem, for most guys. Not for all, but for most.

Even if you're not addicted, some of those brain changes can still play a part, like fore example “desensitization”.

Studies have shown that you don't have to be an addict in order to knock out those small dopamine receptors in your brain. Of course desensitization is a much more common thing in addictions, but still, it is possible to numb your dopamine system just by over consuming super normal stimuli in general.

A very close second would be the aimless browsing guys keep doing online. That one really has to go if you want to unhook from porn…

…at least in the beginning of your reboot.

Something to consider, right there.

Thanks for reading…

-Scandinavian Bob-

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